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(The following is the first of a Steemit exclusive series I’m calling “DBSOC: Derrick Broze’s Stream of Consciousness”. I’m working on re-connecting with my creative flow when writing, on using it as a tool to process what is present for me. So much of my work is thoroughly researched, refined & re-written, and not about what I’m feeling, what is my truth. DBSOC is going to be just that: what is present for me right here, right now. Hope you enjoy.)

I have been finding myself increasingly frustrated with attempts at discourse via social media, specifically, Facebook. I occasionally catch myself being impatient, crude, and lacking compassion towards others. Sometimes my actions are a response to their judgements or assumptions about my views or actions, but it doesn’t help the situation. I find myself grinding my teeth out of frustration or generally feeling more stressed out after being online.

It’s not necessarily that I feel I need to have the last word, it’s that they are full of shit! At least that’s what I tell myself.

But, when I think deeper – after taking a few deep breaths and stepping away from the computer – I realize that it is in fact my ego’s desire to be perceived the “right” way and not misrepresented that causes me to respond to the fallacious arguments. I could ignore it and refuse to respond to straw man claims. I could remain calm and politely explain my views in the hopes they are actually heard and understood. But I don’t.

I get sucked into debates that are not serving my higher goals or intentions. I find myself engaging with people who obviously have no interest in a legitimate discourse and then I sink to their level. It ends up being two egos fighting each other. My goals and intentions include educating myself and others about the important philosophical truths which lead to a more enjoyable and free life. Obviously the fulfillment of those goals requires me to communicate and even debate from time to time. The goal then, should be to communicate my truths to others in a way that validates my need to be heard and respected while also granting the same opportunity to those on the other end of the conversation.

Quite simply, I need to show the same respect and patience and empathy to other people that I hope to receive from them. This practice – self-reflection and compassionate communication – are vital tools for growing any “movement” or ideology. I know that humans deserve to be free to organize their own lives. I believe and see that we are capable of so much more than we often give ourselves credit for or are shown in the popular culture. We are not weak. We are not inherently violent.

I know we can create something better and I know that the answers will not come by trying the same old designs. We have to step outside of the boxes we are placed in from birth. We have to be able to experience self love and esteem to a level that fills our body with inspiration and determination. Through our passion we will inspire others to pursue their own healing and purpose. I know these things are possible if we simply stop playing their game and put our time/money/energy into the next stage of humanity.

But even if I know these things to be true – that coercion and force between human beings always lead to disharmony, and humanity needs to heal before we are able to evolve – I will not convince others or stoke their curiosity by sinking to a level of communication that is not representative of who I Am on a regular basis and does not reflect my goal of helping as many people exit the matrix as possible. I must remain a heart centered compassionate activist, a holistic anarchist who wants to help other free humans recognize their own power and use that power to lead the life of their dreams. So, I guess my taking a break from Facebook is also an effort for me to decompress, get back into my regular meditation, reconnect with my thoughts, and practice compassion towards myself and others.