In the interest of honesty, growth and releasing limiting behaviors:
I stress myself out quite often. I put too much pressure on myself. I know this. People tell me this but still it happens. I often have to stop, take a deep breath, give thanks, and remember that I am the only one putting pressure on me.
I don’t have a boss or a master, I set my own schedule, and I work when I want or need money. Even still I alone often push myself so hard that it causes stress. In some ways this may be admirable because my work ethic has helped me accomplish so much over the last 5 years. Without my constant drive to grow as a person and spread important knowledge I am not sure what I would be doing right now. This ambitious push has typically served me well.
However, I can’t help but notice the crushing weight on my shoulders that I myself have decided to bear. I often ask myself why I choose this weight and if the weight is even real. And if it is real then what exactly is it composed of? What am I carrying? Is it mine to carry? These questions lead me to other thought that I explored last week but I think what is truly important is to recognize that I am CHOOSING, whether conscious or unconscious, to hold onto this weight and allow myself to feel pressure.
Everyone’s situation is different but as I said I am currently living a very free, self-determined lifestyle. As much as I want to help the world I am constantly reminded that I cannot help anyone if I do not take care of myself. Being that I choose my own schedule I am CHOOSING to be thankful that I have the freedom that I do. I know many of you deal with bosses or pressure in ways that I never have to (and hope to never again) and I empathize with you.
So, I am working on giving thanks more often and also making the best out of the time that I do have. It’s easy to get caught up in our busy lives and forget to stop, take a deep breath and simply give thanks for this experience. Mostly, I am thankful for the opportunity to have these thoughts, to communicate, to learn, to grow, to heal, and to become a better, stronger, more wise human.
Thanks for listening, friends.
– D
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