Nobody likes to be pushed around, to be attacked, to be bullied, yet far too often no one bothers to find the root cause.  Instead, “anti-bullying” laws are put into place and the PC Police go out in full force.  Yet words on paper and saying “that’s offensive” doesn’t really solve the problem.  If doing so doesn’t actually solve bullying, what does?  In order to find out, one must first look to find the root cause: authoritarian parenting.

From a child’s perspective, authoritarian parenting looks, sounds, and feels like this: if you don’t do what I tell you, I am going to hurt you in some way.  Perhaps by isolating you, or taking things away, even physical punishment.  When the child does that to another child, it is considered a bad thing, yet when their parents do it, it is seen as good parenting.  Anybody else see a double standard?

In response, the child becomes aggressive towards others, as they see it as acceptable, since mom and dad are aggressive towards them.  Society, especially in the United States, will go to absurd lengths to put blame of the child’s aggression towards anything else- music, media violence, etc, etc.  Meanwhile, the child’s parents are hardly ever held to the same standards.

Defenders of authoritarian parenting will claim it is necessary, otherwise the child will never know right from wrong.  Yet how is the child supposed to know that hitting someone else is wrong, when they themselves are hit?  If the child is to learn that violence and aggression never solves any problem occurs, then it is absolutely imperative that their parents solve problems in a calm and rational way.  Otherwise, the child will learn to use aggression to get what they want, which in the long run never works out.

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Dominic Schmid
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