As I have grown in my spirituality and as I have gained more knowledge on the true philosophy of anarchy I have become increasingly aware of the various ways its principles can be applied in my personal life. I am one for consistency. I like to apply my ideals into every way of my being. I strive to be consistent in my word and action. Anarchy represents freedom and allowing freedom to exist is the ultimate expression of love. I believe a single voluntary expression of love is worth more than all the performed acts of love that are expected in the traditional relationships. How exactly can a loving relationship exist in the form of anarchy? I will get to that, but first let me tell you a little bit about my experience with love.
I fell in love in high school. This love was young and new and fresh and exciting. Everything about it was intriguing. I loved the adventure waiting at every bend, but it was naive, like most first loves tend to be. It started out as something exciting and unfolded into this unhealthy dependency and need to control the flow of love that we were giving and receiving. He was “mine” and I was “his”. We fell into what most people fall into and it is a subject not often talked about, the ownership aspect of love. My body was only to be shared and viewed as his. Deep conversations were only to be shared with him because I couldn’t risk feeling intimate towards another person. It would damage our relationship. Everything I did affected him. It was as though we lost our individualities and became one entity. Feeling the same and moving the same and behaving in the same expected ways. The problem was that we desired to cage in this love. We desired to own it, to control it, to suppress it. All of this was done unknowingly, however. We never intended to become this. We never intended to create this, but all the steps we took along the way set us up for disaster.
When love is labeled it suddenly has a list of expectations attached to it. “If you are my boyfriend you need to call me every day or my feelings will get hurt.” These unspoken rules get applied and there’s a whole list of them. Love with an anarchist principle attached to it leaves no rules in place, especially unspoken rules. It is open and honest in its communication to bring complete awareness to the other person/s involved. Instead, that daily call or text becomes totally and completely voluntary. When two people care about each other it is expressed in their movements, their interactions with each other. It is without rules. It is expressed in each fleeting moment of pure freedom.
Love requires freedom. It is necessary to allow it to flow freely between you and the universe. Expectations and guidelines that are placed on love can cause tension and can limit how the love is expressed. Tension will build over time and if it is dealt with appropriately it will not cause too much of a disturbance, but often this tension goes unnoticed until one day a small disagreement becomes a full on argument. Love has no masters. It owns itself. It is not completely controllable. It ebbs and flows and you had to ride the wave or drown. You cannot force it to be a certain way. You cannot force it into a mold that you created. It is nature and mother nature is the truest anarchist of all. Obeying no one she moves as she pleases, ignoring all borders and laws. When love becomes limited, boxed, caged, it loses an essential part of its essence. It loses its freedom and when it loses its freedom it suddenly becomes dull and routine.
My own personal belief about anarchy is that it is the way to happiness not only for myself, but for everyone around me. Every person is free to live the life they choose. It is the ultimate expression of selflessness. Love must be treated this way also. Love must not be for your own sake, but also for the sake of those around you. It is not something you take from someone else, but something you share between you and that other person/s. Instead of trying to control how the situation will play out you just sit back and watch it unfold. Let it unfold organically into its comfortable shape. As it unfolds you sit and appreciate it. You admire it. You love it. If you try to change it then you are making it so it fits your selfish desires first rather than letting it manifest into its own unique energy. This mentality allows your love to flourish at its own rate without judgement or haste. It allows you to realize how beautiful it is at every level. It is selfless. You are there to appreciate the love, not to hoard it, not to control it, not to mold it.
Love is without force. It represents a truly free energy that persists throughout the world. No borders can keep it out. No laws can shut it down. No enemies can blow it up. It is there, it is open, and it is free. It manifests into many different shapes and sizes, each to be appreciated equally. Love is an anarchist, obeying no rulers and following no masters.
Be accepting, understanding, patient, and honest. Even if the honesty hurts, it must be laid out bare naked in the sun. Give your lover the opportunity to see you and all your beauty, but also all your flaws. Give them the option to accept them as is. Do not hide any pieces of yourself. Do not try to control love. Do not try to force it to be a certain way. Do not set it up with limits. Allow it to be the anarchist it really is. Allow it to be voluntary. Allow it to be free. Allow it to be selfless. Remember to be strong, honest, open, and courageous. Be all those adjectives you use to describe love. Be the anarchist that love tends to be. Anarchy and love go hand in hand. Without each other they no longer function. They are essential to each others existences. Anarchy is love, love is anarchy, and anarchy is for lovers.
My wife and I agree, but we have a sacred agreement within oneness. We consider ourselves “one” chosen of freewill, bound by the oath we took to one another willingly until death do us part. We did not get married by the state and never will. It is a personal agreement and adherence between her and I. We do have our agreed upon comfort guidelines we willingly follow. But over all, we don’t really want to share particular aspects of our hearts outside of each other, compassion and kindness to others yes. But the only person who has ownership of another is themselves. When I married I gave myself to her, and her I. I am happy to have my heart “self stated” owned by one so wonderful, and I with no other possessions accept she is mine forever, I can not take possession of another without it being a gift of freewill and trust. We do not believe in the concept of divorce, we are 100% partners in life. We are much reserved for each-other in exclusive ways, but do love many outward as one unit. If my friends don’t like her and or her friends don’t like me, we really have no need to debate them or change for anyone. They except us as we are, as we do with others, or they do not. I have prioritized aspects of my love for her, and her I, non-regretfully. There are certain levels of love and affection unparalleled to others, naturally. We will give each other ourselves fully. But as to a single unit person loving another, we choose to love many outside of us as “one” person outward. We like our bubble of one, we are twice the person we were lacking alone, and with all the politics in friendship and physical relationships, we have friendships with others together. But the second that friendship tries to break their way into our marriage zone, they find a quick way to exit our thoughts. Our oneness is much like when you take 1+1=2. Except, we see it more like… Her + Me = 3. the third person being called “us”. I do not think in thoughts of I’s or Me’s, but as “us”. Others can deal with us as one or not. There is no where on earth I can step, that she can not. If a rule exist that she is not allowed where I am allowed, I simply stop and walk. I live for her, she lives for me, no one else can give me that comfort or trust in that as she has during our walk in life together. Sometimes life gets so bad, that one does not “want” to do it all alone, so they prioritize a love above all else that would not be equal to any other out side of it. We have polyamorous minds and hearts and do not fit the average couples status quo, but with that freedom to love and let love… We still choose to still just want each other, even in support of non-monogamous relationships. But then again sex and love are different stories. I would never want sex without my wife involved. My wife can have anyone she wants, and I can have anyone I want, we just don’t want anyone outside of us, not bound by rules but by mutual choice, naturally. We still choose each other with no real rules outside of our oath. “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” Unlike most others out there we meant it! Maybe it takes being dragged through hell together and in life to have this bond with another. who knows? I know I’m happy with her forever and every time I look over to my side she is still there of her own free will, beside me.
Anarchy is for lovers but not for the market.
I agree that anarchy is for lovers but I don’t want to date anybody who’s a statist and or anti-LGBTQ+.